When the scaffolding falls
On losing what you thought you were
Stripped of what we know
Life has a tendency to strip us of everything we’ve used to cover up what we truly are.
There is both pain and preciousness in the moment when we are stripped of that which we know. When the identities we’ve carried fall away. When the roles we’ve played no longer fit. In those moments, we are given the opportunity to glimpse the emptiness behind it all – that which is brimming with potential.
This may be in relation to losing a job, for example. Where the doing has been covering up and cloaking the being. This is of course very difficult to see and to dare to feel into, especially while in the midst of it.
But if we can pause for a moment and see what is happening, we are given the opportunity to stay more present to what’s unfolding. There is something very valuable about this reorientation process.
The sacred process
The sacredness of this moment – or sequence of happenings rather – is that it’s opening us up to the emptiness of being, the groundlessness of being. We may feel like we’re free-floating, or frozen, mid air. This is a totally natural response. Though we are quick to judge ourselves, even mid-air.
Yet in such a moment of feeling ungrounded, there is the potential to rewrite the script for the future – where we place our next step. It starts with where we place our attention.
Our attention and awareness are the key components to bringing our agency back.
As challenging as these transitions are, they are also sacred moments, initiations of sorts. But that is of course much easier to see in retrospect. The question we should ask ourselves is how we can give ourselves the gift of slowing down and tap into the spaciousness within ourselves, in order to better orient ourselves moving forward. Bringing our attention to our breath is usually the first step when life feels turbulent.
Our mind is quick to start reeling with worries, grasping to fill the void in whatever ways it knows how. But if we take a moment to stay in the unknown, and befriend this space that is full of potential (even though it may feel scary at times), we are bringing our agency back to that which we can control; our response to the happening.
The reorientation
The reorientation is about dropping back into the body and being, instead of giving the mind 100% off our attention. Even just for a split second, in order to rewire the conditioned operating system of our body/mind complex.
There is something so profound about the moments where life ushers us to evolve out of that which we know. As uncomfortable as it is, it is equally beneficial. It all depends on how we choose to look at it. But the bottomline is that we are offered an opportunity. What we choose to do with the opportunity is totally our choice.
In order to not get swept away or overwhelmed with worrisome thoughts or big stormy emotions, we have to come back to the simple things that are most profound; anchoring ourselves in long deep steady breaths. It may seem simple, maybe even trivial, but it has tremendous power and impact on how our mind perceives the next moment. THIS is the moment to be diligent about; where we place our attention and where we invest our energy.
Discomfort and confusion, perhaps even a sense of victimhood, is often part of the picture when the mind feels pushed to the side, when we lose control of certain variables that used to be our go-to tools or habits, identities or roles. We may have taken all this things for granted, not even seen the structure of the scaffolding that we had created for ourselves. If it’s related to a job, it is easy to see the structure it brought to our daily lives. If it is related to a certain way we saw ourselves, it is an inner dismantling of something we built our sense of worth around. Sometimes those two examples are intertwined. That’s why this is a process, not an overnight fix.
When there is more growth and evolution to be had, these structures tend to crumble, so that we get the chance to rebuild what is more in alignment of who we are today.
The surrender
You may say that you lost your job and that the change that is happening is not in the highest alignment, that you actually loved your job and that you would not have given it up voluntarily. I feel you. But the universe apparently has more in store for you. You have more aspects and facets of yourself to discover, and – dare I say – to share with the world.
Our main job is to open up to the inevitability of our evolution.
Often, when we get too comfortable, the universe wants to nudge us to continue to grow. No matter the size of the nudge, our inner work is to try to harness the lessons, learn from them, and let ourselves be innovative with the next step. It’s like we got the chance to dust off the glass to see clearly.
Sometimes this happens abruptly, sometimes not out of our own choice, sometimes with great consequences and difficulties. Yes, life can be a bitch. Let’s be real. But it can equally be a magician, with incredible insights to learn from difficult moments – most often seen in retrospect.
I bet that you would not be who you are today, if you would not have gone through some of the hardships you’ve been through. The moments that challenge you have shaped you. Try to remember that they are blessings in disguise.
Impermanence
I am not trying to belittle all the side-effects that come with great changes in our lives. But my question to you is; how do we best move through these transitions and difficult periods in our lives with more grace and ease? This is what can be pondered and something for all of us to lean into.
It is inevitable that challenging times will come. No job is forever, no relationship is forever (though it may feel raw to hear, let’s also be real; our loved ones will leave this earth at some point, and so will we). The impermanence of all that we experience is something we live to cover up, most of the time. Once we see beyond this pattern, we can start to recognize the immense value of that which we are blessed to experience.
If we can allow ourselves to deeply feel the preciousness that comes from the inherent impermanence in all, we give birth to so much more gratitude for the moment.
And yes, it doesn’t make changes or closures any easier, but at least it puts transitions in a more natural light.
The unknown
All of this is of course an opportunity to glimpse the emptiness – the ground of being and/or the groundlessness of being – that which connects us to all that is.
Wisdom traditions use different terms for this; ground of being / groundlessness of being. It is not referred to as a mere an absence but the field from which everything arises. Groundlessness, paradoxically, is the most stable place. It connects us to all that is, all that has been and ever will be.
Though some traditions name it emptiness, others refer to it as a fullness. The mind wants to classify that which it doesn’t know. It thrives in knowing. No matter how we choose to word it, it’s that which is of full potential – which can both be daunting and liberating to recognize.
Our job is to befriend the unknown and learn how to navigate this space – one breath at a time. And if we learn how to hold it, without having to change it or define it, I believe we find both our agency and our freedom.
If we can learn to get comfortable here – in the not knowing – we have the opportunity to tap into resilience and equanimity. Thus, we would be less driven by anxiety or worries to push us forward. It’s like we’re being asked, or forced rather, to change the operating system. An upgrade is required for our evolution of being.
I’m writing this now, specifically, because I believe this stripping is about to happen to millions of people. Not through personal crisis, but through something much larger and faster.
AI as the catalyst for reconfiguration
We are about to see massive changes within our society in the next decade. I believe that AI is a hidden treasure and a challenge that we’re all inevitably facing. Yet another paradox. Many are already losing their jobs. Massive unemployment will happen on a global scale. I believe it is just a matter of time.
Currently, we simply can’t see the vast amount of ways that we are already using the myriad of AI tools that will help automate our lives and thus eventually change the fabric of our shared reality. If we are curious about the AI developments, we find ourselves exploring the tools and implementing efficiencies, freeing up time in our tasks. At the same time, we are also living the ticking clock of the receding need for all of us to show up in our old roles at work. This will lead to an enormous part of the population having to face who they are without the identities of their job.
And remember, this is a silent disruption. The reasons for losing our jobs or roles in society may be masqueraded in many different ways. However, I believe this is also equally opportunities for us to do more with our lives. That can seem brutal to say for those who didn’t ask for the change. However, our attitude and response-ability (ability to respond) is the only thing we can truly control. And the disruption may happen fast. That’s why I want us to be talking about this.
I am not writing this to make you scared, but to urge to you look at this before you are stripped of your scaffolding. Dare to be with yourself, in silence, accompanied by your own deep breaths, anchoring yourself in your own being.
This is our opportunity to look at who we are without the doing, bringing our gaze back to being. Will you seize this moment?
Individual reorientation
Reorientation is going to be a strong theme of the next decade. This is why it is important that we start getting comfortable with the important questions, such as Who am I – beyond my job or title? Beyond the roles that I play? Beyond what I do?
We have a beautiful opportunity to lean into all of this to find deeper meaning with our life. Purpose is going to be a massive topic of conversation and one that I suggest we don’t shy away from, though it may feel deeply uncomfortable for you to read this right now.
How will you choose to show up – both for yourself and others – as we move through the changes that lie ahead?
Collective ground
My goal by bringing this up is to start a conversation, a dialogue with you, about how to move through the transitions that we are facing, individually and collectively. What are your coping mechanisms? What are the things that trigger you? What support do you need? Let’s talk about that which is uncomfortable, honestly and openly, so that we can hold each other when things feel challenging. I can’t see another way through this, other than together.
This is exactly the inquiry we sit with together in the monthly sangha. If you want a community to move through this with, your first 7 days are free.
Practical tools for the difficult moments
For those who need something concrete to hold on to right now, these are the tools I return to (with clients and with myself) to help befriend the uncertain. And remember to give yourself grace, lots of patience and love. This is not all easy work, I know.
Slow the pace. Pause and breathe deeply.
Pay attention. Stay present, no matter what arises.
Name the discomfort. Don’t shy away. Be fully with it.
Hold spaciousness. Create an inner atmosphere that welcomes the potential.
Know yourself. Get curious about who you are beyond what you do and the roles that you play, with the help of contemplation and meditation.
Remain open. A new direction will emerge over time. Don’t force it.
Ask for support when needed. This is something we could all get better at.
The essence of this is to not rush the process.
If we can stay curious in the midst of transitions that may feel scary, terrifying or even tragic, I believe there are important lessons to be found here. Leaning into these lessons, we give the mind a very important task – in service to the core of our being.
This essay is the first in a series on identity, inquiry and what AI is asking all of us to reckon with. If it found you at the right moment, there's more coming.
May you revel in the mystery of being.
With love,
Hansa
Related reading
The mystery of the unknown – living in the liminal space
Flow vs Rigidity – on change, pivot and the unexpected
Mentorship
If you are someone who needs support, please never hesitate to reach out. I offer 1:1 holistic mentorship to those who want to go deeper into the inquiry of who they are and what they came here to do. Email vicharapublications@gmail.com for information.