Flow vs Rigidity
Lessons from the trees
How quickly can you pivot with the moment, without holding it hostage to your expectations and plans, when things change in the unfolding – of your day, your week, your life? I don’t mean as a passive giving in, but in an accepting, welcoming sense of flowing with life. Change, after all, is the only things we can count on. How to resist it less and welcome the unexpected more…that’s the question.
My mind goes to think about the trees when we talk about rigidity. Their relationship to winds of change, and the change of the seasons, is what inspires me to be more like them. The more we nourish ourselves and the more we dig deep into our own ground of being, the less affected we have the opportunity to be in the midst of change.
In such a scenario, when we are willing to hold room for the unexpected, what happens around us is not the sole determining factor of how we experience life – because we know there is more to it. This is applicable from small to large, from moment to moment.
In today’s modern world and fast paced rat race, we often leave little space for the unexpected. How can we schedule our days to leave more room for the winds of change? How can we nourish ourselves more, or better, so that we know inherently that someone else’s change of plans, or change of mind, is a natural thing – where we pivot with them, rather than hold them accountable for an outdated version of what we thought would be. It’s about the willingness to be with the moment as it is. We of course judge the moment based on our own limited view of what life wants to present to us. As challenging as it may be, all of this is a matter of perspective and openness. And of course, trust.
If we stay as the witness when things change, maybe there is something beautiful that wants to express itself through that change. What are the lessons to learn? What are the things we overlooked? What is life nudging us to experience instead of what we had in mind at the outset? If something changes that is out of our control, is there any way we can change the way we frame it? We can of course chose what attitude we hold, which in turn affects the flavor of the entire experience. Maybe there is a totally unexpected experience that is lost, or which we would never had a chance to taste, if we would have followed through with the original plan. Are you leaving room for surprise?
I know this is triggering to talk about, because we are so engrained in our routines and plans. It will always feel safer to stick to what we know, or what we expect. But when someone says that they are going to do something, hold their words lightly as life may have other plans for the circumstance and for them. Trust that everyone is doing the best they can. And if you are someone who likes to promise things, or map out plans and outcomes, maybe think about leaving a bit more wiggle room in the way you talk about things. Observe what you put into motion with your words. Don’t hold yourself or others hostage to what has been said. Make sure there is room for life pivot. And when life pivots, be willing to pivot with it. When life is asking to take you on a ride perhaps it is in service of the most expansive outcome. Ponder that. Maybe there is beauty to be found there. You will only know if you let yourself explore it. Give yourself, others, and life itself some wiggle room.
This is what it means to take responsibility for how we receive and perceive life. It is about how we are able to respond to life, rather than react based on expectations, out of habit, on autopilot, or simply based on rigidity and a sense of wanting to be in control. What can we do to limit the emotional load of unmet expectations? Let this be the contemplation.
I’ve talked at length about response-ability – our ability to respond. This is often at the heart of our suffering. This is what determines if we stay rigid or are willing to flow with the current of life. Maybe you are used to paddling upstream. What would happen if you took a breath and instead let the current take you on a little ride. How different life would be if we welcomed this.
All of this is of course far easier said than done, but it is a worthy practice.
May you revel in the mystery of being.
With love,
Hansa
