This can be posed both as a question and as a statement - how to hold space for both discord and harmony within your own being. Either way, it certainly gives rise to a bunch of questions to follow…
Is it possible to hold equanimity when there are so many opposing forces pulsating within us? Does being equanimous mean being indifferent? Does being equanimous mean that we are numb to what’s right or wrong? How can we show that we care and still be equanimous?
I think these are really important questions to ask ourselves right now. And I think it is equally important that we do our absolute best to cultivate and nurture equanimity within ourselves. Both you and the world deserve it.
Let me start by sharing what I think equanimity points to. Ultimately, I think it’s the same thing as freedom. I have a whole chapter in my upcoming book about how equanimity is a prelude to freedom. But if we take it a step further in our inquiry, I believe equanimity IS freedom. Not freedom from XXX - but freedom to XXX. And let me tell you why.
Equanimity brings an opportunity to keep things at an arms length distance, not in a numbing, passive or indifferent way, but to create enough spaciousness to see what’s what. It allows for wise discernment to enter the moment with its illumination. It doesn’t mean you don’t have opinions, but it helps to slow things down a notch so that you can choose your responses instead of feeding the fire with aggression or whatever reaction is provoked. It is a means to take a moment to catch your breath and reset your nervous system. To choose your attitude. To fully be present.
Before we move any further, I want to underscore that I don’t think that equanimity is a passive stance, disrespectful, or non-caring perspective, but one that allows us to be more fully involved yet detached. Equanimity does not only keep us level-headed, but dare I say more open hearted. This is a work in progress, so be patient with yourself.
This may seem like a far reach, but bare with me. Let me share how I perceive it, so that you can see for yourself if it rings true to you.
To me, equanimity points to a certain internal atmosphere which holds a spaciousness and willingness to carry a myriad of experiences and expressions all at once. It holds a certain flavor of an all inclusive sense of welcoming.
It is an attitude, a feeling, a mental stance, and a spiritual pursuit, at the same time. To me, equanimity encompasses it all. It’s a fiber of the fabric of presence.
I don’t know who or what I would be without equanimity. I would be wounded, that’s for certain. But equanimity has come to my rescue, time and time again, which is why I feel so deeply indebted to it and grateful for it. But it hasn’t just showed up, it’s been cultivated. It’s a muscle that has been strengthened. Thus, I find it important to talk about. I want you to know that you have it in you. It is especially important to draw upon this source when things are feeling hopeless, challenging or triggering.
How to be fully involved yet detached
The deeper question that always seem to linger within me is:
How to be fully involved, yet detached?
I believe equanimity is a big player in the answer to this. I will leave this inquiry here, as is – for you to reflect on it too. And please know I don’t mean this in a shallow way, but the deepest and most intimate way possible.
I am not asking anyone to shut out their feelings, or for you to desensitize yourself to your life or the world. It is not like we don’t feel the feels, just because we find ourselves equanimous in a certain moment. That’s not what I’m saying here. As sensitive and empathic beings, doing this type of inner digging, we may feel things in the collective even more. Many are finding themselves taking on emotions of others, as if their equanimity is the safe space for transformation of the heavy energies of the collective.
No matter what, I believe it is our sacred duty to cultivate equanimity, so that we can show up fully – thus we have to work on being more detached, so that it’s sustainable to continuously do so (we’ll talk more about detachment soon, I promise). And again, being detached or equanimous does not mean that we don’t care.
This contemplation – how to be fully involved yet detached – is worthy of our life force and attention. Please sit with it.
Deep nourishment
Then, how do we cultivate equanimity? It starts by filling your cup, so that you have the fortitude to see things through. Nourishment – physically, mentally, emotionally, energetically and spiritually – is super important, in order to have the capacity to aim for equanimity. Proper rest and rejuvenation is the fertile soil for it. If you are not well rested, triggers will push your buttons and make you feel off center.
So what can you do to set the stage for equanimity to be fostered and fortified within you? I would suggest tending to the body/mind complex first, then dive into the deeper inquiry around how to deepen and strengthen your bond with equanimity.
A conversation around equanimity is also about what we let trigger us. What makes us react. What throws us off. Thus we need to stay rested and well nourished so that we can stay anchored at our center. This is the baseline for equanimity. Take care of yourself.
How to strengthen the muscle of equanimity
For me personally, equanimity started to show itself during long meditation retreats where we would sit for ten hours per day. Equanimity was the fortitude that allowed me to endure, while at the same time see the impermanence of it all. It was a process. And looking back, I can see how it grew within me – thanks to a willingness to stay.
Staying, even when things are freaking difficult, is what makes equanimity grow roots in you. And in order to do so, we’ve got to have the self-care piece as part of the picture, so that you actually will endure. We practice this as a preparation for when shit hits the fan. And since a lot of things are hitting the fan lately, start now.
In truth, equanimity ebbs and flows, as things are placed on our path to trigger us again and again. Thus, life is the arena for practice. And as things are beyond challenging in the world right now, equanimity can seem like a fairy tale, or even naive. But I think it’s a worthy thing to bring our attention and intention toward, as it serves not only ourselves, but everyone around us (and beyond).
The ripple effects of equanimity are full of resilience, love, care and stamina. It holds compassion and an attitude of trusting the process of that which may be challenging the mind and heart in different ways. Equanimity helps us ride the waves and keep us upright, so that we don’t capsize in the process of going through stormy weathers.
Thus, we need to double down on our practices and nourishment right now. Bring your attention back to the breath. Notice if you’re tensing up, holding things in the body. It may feel like it’s hard to breathe, as a response to the news or other things that are triggering. Try to lengthen and deepen your breath. Go back to the basics, that are often the most profound.
Control the controllables
When things feel utterly hopeless, control the controllables. Do the little things that seem benign, but which contribute to the whole. One step at a time. One breath at a time. What do you need in this moment? Where are you letting your attention go? What can you do, to bring back your focus? What are you investing in?
Equanimity allows us to not only to stay level-headed and centered, but to hold space for the multitude of expressions and experiences that we face and feel each day. And with a world so crazy that I don’t even have words to describe it right now (!!!) we need this survival mechanism fortified and cared for, so that our body/mind is optimized to show up fully when needed.
As you can tell, I believe that equanimity is a superpower, a psychic tool, to keep our hearts stay open when we want to shut down. It is a state and stance of resilience and rebellion in an era of fear mongering. Equanimity is what we all need in order to see this through.
Be a lighthouse
Equanimity is a torch you hold within your own inner sanctuary, making you shine like a lighthouse so that other people can find their way. You’re doing the work not just for yourself, but the world you wish to see.
Please take good care of yourself and please comment below if there is anything you need as support. We are in this together folks!
May all beings everywhere, seen and unseen, be happy and free. om
Love,
Hansa
If any of this triggered you, I want to know. If any of it served you, let me know. I want this to be a dialogue, so that we can walk together through this fire.
Grandmother’s Heart
From the book Hold Nothing, by Elena Brower
Last night, I stayed up late in the flow of writing about the value of equanimity during difficult times (what you’ve just read above). And this morning, I sat down with my tea and opened up Elena Brower’s new book (Hold Nothing) to exactly this page (see below), talking about “grandmother’s heart”. I love synchronicities like this!
The topic of equanimity and the themes surrounding grandmother’s heart is also what we based Thursday’s community meditation talk around. It’s in the air folks. It’s needed. It’s our shared practice right now.
I want to take a moment to highlight what Elena shares about “grandmother’s heart”, since it correlates to what we have been focusing on a lot lately.
She writes, “A fierce heart of tender listening, grandmother’s heart is a cultivation in certain circles of Zen that carries equal measures humility and compassionate presence.” She goes on to say that, “This heart is apparent in our choice to turn toward suffering, toward the difficult, and stay rooted in the ground of our being”.
Instead of turning away, how can we learn to stay? Cultivating a grandmother’s heart is about nurturing our ability to stay present with whatever is happening. What Elena so beautifully describes, is what I see at the core of equanimity.
Elena continues on the same topic, saying that “it is a subtle state of reverence in which pain is enveloped”. To me, this says it all. It’s a willingness to hold it all. Or even better yet, hold nothing.
Circling back to my initial inquiry - how can we be fully involved, yet detached - I think the title of Elena’s book hints at the essence of this; hold nothing. It’s the grand paradox of our existence; hold all of it - and hold none of it - at the same time.
This is what the world is asking of us right now to practice, embody and radiate.
If you haven’t read Elena Brower’s new book Hold Nothing, I highly recommend it.
Related reading
May there be peace – on empathy, feeling the feels, compassion, and more.
How we choose to respond is everything – on response-ability and equanimity.
Breath : Body : Being – how to stay centered in our own body, breath, and being.
Manifesto 2026 – mantras and contemplations to circle back to again and again.
What you find here on the VICHARA Substack is not AI generated. I’m openly sharing my heart with yours. I want to be as real and transparent as humanly possible. That is my promise to you. Thank you for being on this journey with me and for showing up for yourself.